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First of all, are we still using the word homies?  You see I have a confession to make, I am not hip. In fact, I am closer to needing a new hip than being hip. My name is Dennis Gillan and I am a 53 year old Caucasian who never heard of Kid Cudi until last week and now I want to shake that young man’s hand for bringing the topic of mental health to the forefront.  I’m not talking one of those handout, bodies apart handshakes. I’m doing the full brother on brother handshake that includes the half hug and I am not letting go until he does.

Quick backgrounder for square old farts like me, Kid Cudi is a rapper and apparently he is pretty darn good at it. A quick check of his Twitter feed shows that he has 1.54 MILLION followers, move the decimal over some to get to my grand total of 149 followers. Kid Cudi was born Scott Ramon Seguro Mescudi on January 30, 1984 in Cleveland and he is a certified star. If you need to know more about this cat go here: Now I am fairly certain that I am not in his core demographic group and I cannot sing/rap any of his tunes, but when he is better I want to meet him for real. Why you ask?  Because Scott Mescudi had the balls to put this post on his Facebook page:

It’s been difficult for me to find the words to what I’m about to share with you because I feel ashamed. Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I’ve been living a lie. It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans.

Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges.

I am not at peace. I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I would’ve done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions every day of my life. There’s a raging violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I cant make new friends because of it.

I don’t trust anyone because of it and I’m tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me? I guess I give so much of myself to others I forgot that I need to show myself some love too. I think I never really knew how. I’m scared, I’m sad, I feel like I let a lot of people down and again, I’m sorry. It’s time I fix me. I’m nervous but ima get through this.

I won’t be around to promote much, but the good folks at Republic and my manager Dennis will inform you about upcoming releases. The music videos, album release date etc. The album is still on the way. Promise. I wanted to square away all the business before I got here so I could focus on my recovery.

If all goes well ill be out in time for Complexcon and ill be looking forward to seeing you all there for high fives and hugs.

Love and light to everyone who has love for me and I am sorry if I let anyone down. I really am sorry. I’ll be back, stronger, better. Reborn. I feel like shit, I feel so ashamed. I’m sorry.

I love you,
Scott Mescudi

Now as a mental health advocate I disagree with him feeling ashamed, but who the hell am I? Well since you asked I am a guy who buried two brothers to suicide, so you can now see why I admire Kid Cudi for “Manning Up” and going to get help. Don’t believe me—go here: and that’s right I wrote “Manning Up”! It takes a real man to admit he is vulnerable and in our own vulnerability is where we find our strength. I now speak professionally on my journey towards recovery after the loss of my two brothers and after every talk, really brave people stick around and tell me about their struggles with depression and suicidal ideation. Really brave people talk about it because they know that a shared joy is a double joy and a shared sorrow is half a sorrow. When you share your sorrow you become real. When you become real, you feel everything—the good and the bad. When you hide and are fake you feel nothing. Sorry but you are dumb and numb and the world is full of people like this. Embrace your vulnerability and come alive. Need scientific proof—listen to this woman on the TED stage: It’s worth the 20 minutes.